Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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