i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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