Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
