Need sex. Gaining weight.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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