Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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