Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
