Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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