Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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