that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
