i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
