Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
