Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
