I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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