This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
