Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
