dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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