JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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