Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
