I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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