So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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