she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Holy sore nipples Batman
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
