I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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