I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize