I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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