I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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