What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
