i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
