R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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