Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize