Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize