I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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