guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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