just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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