Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
two words: eviction party
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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