was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
