i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
