He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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