She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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