i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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