i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
where does the pee come out of this thing
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
