Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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