I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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