I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
