i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
