Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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