You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You're like the curious george of whores
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
