Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
