im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
