Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
