Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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