Screwed.edu
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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