I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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