Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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