i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize