you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
