Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
