Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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