Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
