She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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